The unpredictable preacher took to the pulpit on that Wednesday morning, rain cascading from the canopy . “Truly, truly I say unto you this rainy morning, ye fellow heathen churchgoers. Today, I am preaching from Romans, chapter 9 on the Sovereignty of the Lord in Salvation. But, before we get there, we are going to read from Leviticus, chapter 13, verse 40. Let’s rise. ”
“”A man who has lost his hair and is bald is clean.” Can I get an amen?” and his eyebrow raised. “I don’t know what to think about that….does this mean if we have hair, we are unclean? Are we like the animals with undivided hooves and also don’t chew the cud? Dad burn it…maybe we should just be bald and call it a day.”
“Now, before we get in Romans, chapter 9, let’s look at another verse from the book of Judges, chapter 20, verse 16. Remain standing you idiots. I will tell you from whence you can sit. ”
“Among all these were 700 chosen men who were left-handed; every one could sling a stone at a hair and not miss.” The preacher stood at the pulpit and smiled, “Well, dad burn… I guess left handers are the best hunters. I don’t know what to think about that either. Y’all may be seated.”
As the people were seated, the preacher looked out at the congregation. The blue hairs were taping their watches and getting antsy, insulin pumps were calling and the need to eat became the paramount attention of the churchgoers. The preachers job was on the line, as many who had preached before him were terminated due to running over a few minutes on Sundays. He smiled, “Well, we will just do Romans 9 next time…every head bowed, and every eye closed.”
As was the case for this preacher, so it was for the beatdown. Drummy clearly stated that this would be a leg beatdown in the warmup and talked about all the ways our legs were going to be stronger. However, we never made it to the legs and just did abs, shoulders, and arms. The beatdown ended and we had the COT. The end.
It was one of Drummy’s better Q’s. We got in a good workout and it was a good group of men.
(This story has been recreated from a distant memory and has been grossly exaggerated. Fill-ins and mistruths may, or may not have been added…can’t remember.)