AO: Apex

When: 12/16/2021


Number of Pax: 15

Pax Names: Black Swan, Brad Pitt, Camper van, Canoe, Cuomo, Green Mile, Happy Ending, Hurley, koi, Lamb Chop, Sooorie, Swingline, Tapps,

Number of FNGS: 0

FNG Names: 0

QIC: Sooorie

Pre Thang

After a late night BUELLER call, we discovered that Space Cadet was still using his 2019 Advent calendar.  As he called to the PAX, little did he realize that it was the HIMS who would answer his call.  Brady Bunch summoned the almighty pre-run HC and voluntold Sooorie since he too opened his stupid mouth earlier that day, completing the self-fulling prophecy to follow.

After yelling into the wind, Sooorie promised the PAX that the BD will grueling for the last-minute HC.

Right before the THANG:

As the PAX of the APEX arrived, Sooorie and Lamb Chop finished their pre-BD run though Lamb Chop came out of the woods with 1 minute to space jamming to Beastie boys.  He was greeted with familiar PAX, though we questioned if he actually ran or did he just jump out of the bushes like a hobo with 1 minute to spare.

The warm-up consisted of a 1/4 mile mossey, the standard Side straddle hops, proper weed pickers, an extensive introduction to Merkins, and in his eagerness to bring suffering to the PAX, the Q passed on sun gods, or MP’s to send a message.

The Actual Thang
Sooorie was never a creative PAX.  He returned to the APEX with is BBT and sought to bring pain.

2 teams- each PAX completes 10 reps- then sends 1 PAX to the tire.  First PAX from either team was to flip the tire until the opposing team touches the tire to stop the BBT from causing additional pain.  Repeat until Q was tired.

It should be noted that though Lamb Chop may appear friendly, during any rigorous activity, the Lamb Grows Horns.
Lamb Chop charged Happy Ending, and in his vicious roar, caused Happy Ending to spasm, leaving the APEX down one PAX.  It was a good thing he signed the waiver, and Sooorie announced that he was not a professional, in any sense of the word, and that scaling to one’s activity level was a necessity.

Each rough, PAX completed 10 of :

Mike Tyson Merkins
Caroline Dry Taps
(the remainder are with coupons)
Bicep curls to push press

As the Gloom progressed, we returned the coupons for an easy Bataan Death March.  After hours in the forbidden section of Exicon- he discovered that Indian runs could be modified to include Burpees for the last PAX prior to his acceleration to the front of the line.

Once bored of burning time to the inevitable Mary- The Q decided suicide sprints would fill the time necessary.
After about 3 minutes of that terrible IDEA- the Q Summoned the PAX back to flag to finish with Mary.

After the THANG:
We prayed for Oracle, Brady Bunch, and not for a lighter load but for the strength to carry out our burdens.

Snot Rocket returned post beat down with his Coffee with a twist, as the remainder PAX scattered to the wing, cursing the name SOOORIE ever more.


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