WARMUP: We mosey’d to the field, but the lock is still on. So we ran to the bus lanes by the retention pond/arena fighting cage thing. Tinder and Ma Bell are working for Russian Intelligence and forgot to plant the flag. More on that later.
THE THANG:
Arrive at bottom of the steps of misery, but we just circle up. A few disclaimers, SSH, Good Mornings and Merkins. Welcome our FNG and apologize for our idiocy.
Arrive at bus lanes, partner up. P1 runs to the end and does 3 burpees, P2 stays and does BBS. Keep going until we touch every bus lane. After a few rounds, switch so P2 stays and only does burpees. After a bit, everyone does burpees so we can have strong cheeks. Like, the cheeks you can bounce a quarter off of. I intend to test this on everyone’s cheek this Thursday. Tinder will video it.
Everyone got bored with that, so after we finished, we did Howling Monkeys. Cricket showed everyone why he has so many kids. And also why he may need to replace his bed every year. Good Grief. Had the PAX try to skip the holding of the humper by starting before the other PAX finished. So we did burpees and started over. The power is going straight to my head at this point.
After two rounds of that nonsense, we proceeded to use our same partners (YHC was part of a threesome, thought that was important to know, with Ma Bell and Hazmat). P1 ran around the loop, while P2 (or 2/3) ran backwards around the loop. When you meet, drop and do 5 bropees, clapping hands at the top and gazing into each other’s eyes. Yes, that is required. No, this is not Paragon fan-fiction. Garfield does write that on the side. You should ask him to narrate it to you before you go to bed if you want, bunch of sickos. We added a bropee each time we met until YHC stopped it at some point. Our FNG killed this routine and began lapping Ma Bell, while giving him the finger.
We ran back to the flag area. YHC got shamed by Cricket for not going fast enough on the steps. Someday I’ll make you proud, Dad!!! Someday!
Circle up and do burpees and SSH to the lovely tunes of whiskey drinks, vodka drinks, singing songs that remind us of the best times, blah blah blah.
Students for track or some other sport gave us plenty of room while running past us. I think most had their phones out thinking Grylls might make an appearance. Or most avoided our stench and weird old manness. Or maybe it was because we were throwing dollar bills to Tulip while he was twerking in the middle.
Do more burpees because we had no flag (bunch of commies). Mary until time.

MARY: I just wrote that, lay off me.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Homeboy’s transitional surgery and implants, blood drive, House of Cherith, other various things. Welcome FNG and heard about his super balls. He really leaned into that story. It’d be a shame not to name him nuggets or SacAttack.
COT: Prayers for the PAX