Monday night I got a text from 2 strangers (Ma Bell & GP), telling me to “Make us sweat” cause the new regime wants to get all sweaty, so they can take their shirts off in front of other men. Little did they know I been planning this BD for months, took pieces from the different AOs I visited. I did a preview of it at #kratos and tweaked here and there for the ParaGoons. There will be no more dumpster fire in this BIA!
Warm-up: Mosey from flag to Sequoyah East, and 15 X SSH. Mosey to bus lanes behind Hickory Flat Elem gym, 10 x Weed Pickers, and 15 x Imperial Walkers. Mosey to Hickory flat Elem parking lot and did sun gods plus Michael Phelps. Enough of the warm-up, now time to bring the sweat.
This was an escalator type of workout. There is a starting point plus 10 cones down the parking lot. Each cones had a different exercise each pax had to perform. The pax would start with deconstructive burpee rounds and once they complete each rd, they move to the cone but there is a catch!
Deconstructive Burpee – pushups, ins/outs and squat jumps. Each round the pax would do the number assigned. For example round 1, they would do 5 pushups first, 5 ins/outs, and 5 squat jumps, next round you add 5 more, then 5 more, you get the point.
- RD 1 – 5
- RD 2 – 10
- RD 3 – 15
- RD 4 – 20
- RD 5 – 25
- Rd 6 – 30
- RD 7 – 35
- Rd 8 – 40
- RD 9 – 45
- RD 10 – 50
RD 1 complete, go to first cone to complete exercise, then go back to starting point to continue to RD 2. Rd 2 done, go to first cone, complete it, then go to 2nd cone to complete it. Once 2nd cone is done, sprint back to Starting point for Rd 3, once RD 3 is done, go to 1st cone, then 2nd cone, then 3rd cone to complete it, then sprint back to starting point and you keep going till you get to the last 10th cone.
But wait!! There is more. A Pax would carry a 60lb sandbag on their shoulders around the parking lot at all times. This pax could not give the sandbag to someone else, They would need to call out for help and another pax had to take it from him. If another Pax did not take the sandbag, they had to keep going. (more on this below).
If you got this far, then you are waiting for the 10 exercise that make men sweat and take their shirts off. Here they are
- 5 – Captain Thors
- 10 – Carolina Dry docks
- 15 – Bonnie Blairs
- 20 – Big Boys
- 25 – Shoulder Taps (2-count)
- 30 – Hillbilly Squats
- 35 – LBC
- 40 – Rocky Balboas (2-count)
- 45 – Mountain Climbers
- 50 – T-Claps (over head claps)
Manning and Garfield thought they were finish but time was up and they were short the last 2 exercises. You can see the disappointment in their eyes but they still took their shirts off for us. We mosey back to the flag and Bronco, the stallion takes the sandbag all the way back. I am mad he didn’t take his shirt off like the rest of the ParaGoons. With 90 seconds left, I did flutter kicks and GP ended with American Hammers. Then we did count, name-o-rama, and COT. This is where Homeboy was practicing his dancing moves showing all of us how we did Bonnie Blairs while staring at Garfield’s tits. We went to Dunkin for Coffeeteria where we “Discussed” Rat Tail for not bringing tea like he mentioned it and How Grylls let me and god down for not showing up after telling me he was coming to Paragon for my BD at Woodstock City Church wearing his best Sunday suit.
This is my 3rd beat down of my Anniversary week and it was mega fun. 4 more to go before I hit the beach!
Why the sandbag? I am glad you asked! The sandbag represents the burden that we as men carry on our shoulders. The burden can be big or small but we as men always carry something. It can be something like a family problem, stress at work, money problems or anything that we men put up and deal with. This is why we can’t just give our burden to someone else (hence you cannot give the sandbag to someone), we as F3 men are here for each other to help with the burden we men carry. A Pax must be open to trust your F3 brothers, talk about your burdens, so we can help to take that burden from you. F3 is being there for each other, and helping anyway we can. (Except for Homeboy, he just throws his burden to the ground and continues exercising)
I made you sweat baby!
P.S Tinder brought pancakes to the workout, this must be a new thing at Paragon, WTF!
P.S.S Tebow hates Linkin Park and alternative music.