AO: WoodstockRucks

When: 02/19/2020


Number of Pax: 6

Pax Names: 8-Bit, Careless Whisper, Gut Check, Hass, High Ball, Panhandle,

Number of FNGS: 0

FNG Names:

QIC: Gut Check

The BackBlast:


Weird weather tonight. It rained all day but finally started to clear out. It was the warmest 45 degress YHC had ever felt. Let’s see if we can get the PAX sweating tonight. 12-mile Star Course coming up for 4 of us. We needed some miles in a hurry.


HA. Pulled Melissa out of the car kicking and screaming. Ruck on, gents!

The Thang:

Time Hack 1: First 3 miles, 50 minutes, GO! (No joke) Passing Melissa around every 1/2 mile or so, we set out at a blistering pace up Main street north. Got all the way into JJ Biello park when Hass and Panhandle couldn’t hold their bladder anymore. So Merkins for the PAX while we wait.

Got the “You remember this finger?” from Careless Whisper, who showed me that finger the first time he rucked with us (and Bloodhound).

As we got to the back of the park, YHC started noticing all the lovely coupons laying around, and was quickly reminded by Panhandle, “Dude we’re on a time hack, what are you doing?” To which I replied, “Stalling!” Nothing says I love you to the PAX like trying to jack up the time hack you created! I guess we’ll have to ruck run to make it.

(NOTE: It was sometime during this time hack that High Ball blurts out, “So I’m doing a TOUGH this weekend.” Crazy fool! Love that dude!)

Barely made it with about 15 seconds to spare. Officially joined Careless Whisper’s “Frenemy” list! So in celebration we did some ruck overhead march across the parking lot.

As we rucked past the Tennis Center, 8-bit told us a story about the night he lost 6-0, 6-1 in an ALTA (yes, 8-bit did ALTA) match at the Tennis Center. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place as we suitcase carried our “a**es that got handed to us” back and forth in the parking lot. YHC found some tennis balls in the parking lot and proceeded to hurl them at 8-bit to remind him why he gave up Tennis!

As we rucked back to DTW, YHC stopped (off time hack) to take a leak in a porta john on main street. And by on main street, YHC literally, means, on, Main, Street. PAX did squats while YHC “stalled.”

Time Hack 2: Back in Woodstock I put the PAX under a second time hack. 1 mile in 15 minutes. No excuses. PT awaits if we don’t make it. As we made the first loop around town, two drunk girls come stumbling out from behind a couple cars. One says, “They’re like night hikers! There’s like 17 of them.” Since there were six of us, she must have been seeing triple. Hard to keep on a time hack with attractive drunk girls walking around town and ogling us. (They were particularly fond of Panhandle!)

After running the second lap we made the hack with a measley 8 second left. Nothing like doing miles 5.76 to 6.76 at a sub 15 pace!

Finished the night wandering thru an amphiteater parking lot to get everyone’s watch to 7.00. Well everyone except Panhandle who wears an apple watch. He rucked 17.34 miles backwards at a 2:56 second mile.


These dudes. Praying together with these men in the middle of a park way after dark is just a highlight of my life.

Naked Man Moleskin:

Just enjoyed every second of this night. It’s amazing that we’ve created so much more than a ruck. It’s a 2nd/3rd F event in it’s own right. The folks at Waffle House never cease to amaze us with their service, especially Caitlyn and Angie. It truly is great to have a place to fellowship late into the night chugging decaf, eating Waffles (only after the eggs), and laughing and enjoying life! Thanks, bros!

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