So with COVID-19 getting all of our attention 24 x 7, it was a perfect time to get away for a weekend of fun. The boys showed up and brought their toys! Buddered Up had the Hunting Camp opened up and was there to greet early arrivals since YHC was behind schedule (which seemed the order of the day all last week). Since I am already a day late in getting this BB out, it may still be the order of the week. To that end, Thin Mint provided an awesome write up for the weekend which I am gonna use to get this BB out…
Man Camp 2020 Highlights from TM:
o Early arrival on Friday means a bed. But then Dory kicked Manila out of the bed and made him sleep on the couch. House rules. Can’t sleep out of arms reach of Yvonne.
o On the way in The Mole and Manila stopped at Carroll’s for some steaks. Next stop Piggly Wiggly for a cultural experience and some veggies. On the way to PW, Wheelchair Fred was humming down the middle of the road in his wheelchair sans footwear but with a little orange flag signaling his whereabouts. Apparently Wheelchair Fred is a regular on the highway. Who knew? Is it that obvious we are not from around here?
o The Mole and Red Hat got in some miles on Friday afternoon. Rebecca is HOT. The heat was a new thing to those of us who live in the rainy season that is Canton.
o Alcoa Matchstick Geppetto Red Hat when to Carroll’s to pick up some Friday dinner steaks. Alcoa met his mistress (aka TFD) there where they talked about nutrition and cleaning dirty things. She could obviously tell how dirty Alcoa is.
o Steaks after a long run in the heat were AMAZING. Manila is a master on the grill.
o Lively took Dory’s truck for a joy ride. Geppetto had to bail him out of jail with Dory’s towing floss. More on this later.
o Dory showed up with 463 of Babyface’s beers. Apparently B0.0mtown is the place to stock up. (YHC needs to post there more often.) By midnight Friday night only 4 beers remained. Why is Dory falling asleep over there?
o Wait, where’s Lively? What is he wiping out of his beard? Did he just…. Need another beer brother? PUKE ‘N RALLY!
o Grylls comes in late to the party hauling ass. Still in his neatly ironed jeans, shirt perfectly tucked in and a pretty belt holding this beautiful outfit all together. Dude. Seriously, drop the perfectly coiffured persona. This is Man Camp. Somebody put a beer in this man’s hand STAT.
o Matchstick! Seriously, you need to see someone about that condition. WTF.
o Saturday morning nobody woke up for the 0700 beat down. By the time everyone was up Matchstick still wanted to do a workout. Okay dude. Whatever. We’ll play along. Or not. Wait…. Why so many burpees?
o Geppetto and The Mole went to the Fitzgerald WalMart for a Saturday morning for some extra lunch supplies and a cultural experience. Luckily there was hand sanitizer at the door.
o When The Mole and Geppetto returned Donner Party hands TM a hand gun that would make Clint Eastwood blush. Want to shoot it? Umm… I guess so. Don’t want to look like a vagina in front of all these guys. Holy Shit this thing is heavy. But that’s nothing compared to the pistol whipper Buttered Up brought out. If you measure a man by the length of his gun, then Buttered Up is very manly.
o No fish biting this morning. Needs more dynamite boys.
o The Mole cooked lunch with some firefighters. Good thing too because we tried to burn the place down with grease fires and vulgar language (mostly from Thin Mint). Apparently hot bacon grease on the leg is not good for the skin. Nor is it good on your hands.
o After 6 pounds of bacon was consumed Man Camp hibernated.
o Shot guns! Some are good shots. Some need practice. But it’s fun as hell. Hand me another beer.
o Donner Party is definitely a sniper. YHC thinks he’s part of border patrol. With that scope and rifle with bullets the size of a football, he can patrol the Rio Grande from his front porch in Ball Ground.
o To be keeping company with Donner Party, Orvis is a little too quiet. He’s definitely a spy. Nobody knows where Burnsville, North Carolina is (YHC’s hometown) except people who live there and spies. They just have to know things. Orvis is definitely a spy.
o Miyagi is a trained killer. Did you see how he lit up that steel plate with an AR? And all those guys (DP, Orvis, Miyagi) rode together to and from Man Camp. They are definitely plotting how to kill us. Also, they will definitely get away with it. Nobody is as nice as Miyagi.
o With that rifle that Donner Party brought Buttered Up is lucky his truck still has a windshield and that it still works property. Holy cow that thing was powerful!
o Saturday dinner was some amazing sausages brought to you by Mrs. Nippers.
o Matchstick shows up late, eats half his plate and then throws Mrs. Nippers sausages on the fire. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Why are you the way you are?
o Lively and Dory seem a lot more sober Saturday night than Friday. No puke and rally?
o Apparently Legg Road is a busy street for ATVs on a Saturday night. What else is there to do in this tiny town?
o Hey have you guys seen a dog? YEAH. A brown one? YEAH. A yellow one? YEAH. Yellow dog reappears with a look of disgust. “I thought we had something special guys. We shared a moment and some ice cold beer… I mean water. And then you ratted me out.”
o Mr Nippers seemed incredulous that we didn’t have any women. Think he wanted to drop off Mrs. Nippers and join the party but wasn’t sure it was worth it after hearing that news.
o Grinder and Jack’d are the apps Alcoa and Grylls use for “social” gatherings.
o Matchstick seriously!?!??! Again? What is wrong with you? Red Hat needs to burn that chair.
o After shooting a bunch of bullets during the day, the PAX shot a bunch of Bulleit Saturday night around the fire.
o Its now a tradition…one pax will receive a 2nd F3 name at Man Camp…this year it was Semen…oops, SeaMan! Welcome Crème Pie! You now have two F3 names. Thin Mint welcomes you to the exclusive club.
o Speaking of Thin Mint…. Everyone was dying to know how Thin Mint earned his name. Maybe he’ll be on Grinder soon too.
o Manila is taking a bunch of pictures to sell online. If you see your face on a porn picture you can assume Manila made some money. Well… unless it’s Alcoa or Grylls. Then they will be the ones who made the money.
o YHC doesn’t remember the last time I laughed that much.
o Sunday morning we all learned how needy The Mole is. Here’s hoping we can learn to look to our Creator/Savior to provide that Living Water we all need rather than looking around us to people for something they aren’t equipped to provide.
o YHC enjoyed every moment of Man Camp 2020. Here’s hoping Dory and Buttered Up invite us back again in 2021. Keep this great tradition going!
Naked Man Moleskin:
Dory’s Final Thoughts:
Gents…ManCamp 2020 was a blast. You guys brought it! Looking forward to ManCamp 2021! I’ll get a date out as soon as the 2020 – 2021 hunting seasons are published.