A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
It’s a time of uncertainty. Unrest grips the Slab as the influence of the First Order spreads, but a glimmer of hope remains in the heroic forces of the F3 Rebel Alliance.
As they struggle against the dark might of the enemy, these brave heroes will need to withstand the many challenges Darth Edibles and the Empire have set before them. When completed the F3 Rebel Alliance could free Darth Edibles from the Empire in doing so they will then possess the skill and strength needed to plant, grow, and serve small workout groups for men to invigorate male community leadership…
The Rebel Alliance begins their journey through the Slab to assess the damage done by First Order. Their journey takes them to the first crash site of a Y-Wing starfighter. They began prepping their bodies for the challenges they face by doing some SSH, Weedpickers, and 10 Copperhead Merkins. Then they move on to another crash site of an X-Wing starfighter. Here they do some Imperial Walkers, Sun Gods, and Michael Phelps.
They then hear the Imperial March and look out to see troves of Storm Troopers coming. Their First (1st) task is to ESCAPE THE FIRST ORDER. To escape the Rebel Alliance must complete 5 Skywalkers then AT-AT walk up the huge hill, run down and around a tree, and then back to the bottom of the hill for 10 Finns. To successfully overcome this challenge the Rebel Alliance must Catch two more episodes and then finish with 10 Escape of Skywalkers.
After the Alliance escapes, they continue their assessment. As they move along, they come across parked Star Destroyer. Hoping to get a better understanding of what they are up against, the Alliance makes their way into the Star Destroyer. Once inside, Darth Edibles appears. Their Second (2nd) task is to overcome the I AM YOUR FATHER. To escape the Star Destroyer the Alliance must complete three episodes of 5 Han Solos, 10 Skywalkers, and 15 Obi-Wans. To assure each member is out safely they complete an additional 10 Skywalkers.
After narrowly escaping capture and in turn capturing Darth Edibles the members of the Rebel Alliance quickly move through the streets of the Slab. However, in their attempts to evade capture the Alliance has forgotten the Jedi lessons and ends up running directly into a furious Darth Vader. The Alliance must now escape VADER’S RAMPAGE. To do so they will need five episodes of 4-count AT-AT Walks, 3 C-3POs, 10 Skywalkers, and 20 R2-D2s. To gain more traction in the middle of the battle, the Alliance adds 10 Yoda Jacks to channel the enter Jedi.
As the Rebel Alliance narrowly escapes Vader, their caution moving forward leads them to Darth Maul’s trap. This time the five members of the Alliance must defeat Darth Maul in the DUEL OF FATES. To do so the Alliance will complete four episodes of 5 Stuart Skywalkers and one episode of 5 Skywalkers.
As they defeat Darth Maul the Rebel Alliance finds an undamaged X-Wing Starfighter. They quickly board with Darth Edibles in tow. Upon the starfighter Darth Edibles reveals that he is in fact a member of the Rebel Alliance that had joined the First Order to gather intel and sabotage the Order’s mission of capturing the Slab.
As the X-Wing makes its way over First Order forces they begin to hurl damaged droids down upon the Order. They scream NOT THE DROIDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. To celebrate the Alliance completes two episodes of 10 Skywalkers, one episode of 3 C-3POs, and one episode of 2 C-3POs.
The Rebel Alliance has done it. They freed the Slab of the First Order. In defeating the First Order, the Alliance has assured that the Slab can continue to serve and grow as a small workout group for men to invigorate male community leadership in Cherokee County.
Skywalker Count – 190
AT-AT Walk = Bear Crawl
Skywalker = Merkin
Escape of Skywalker = HR Merkin
Finns = BBS
Han Solos = Pull Ups
Obi-Wans = Squats
C-3POs = Burpee
R2-D2 = Flutter Kicks (single count)
Stuart Skywalker = Booyah! Merkin
Episode = Round
Yoda Jacks = Smurf Jacks