WARMUP: Mosey around upper parking lot of the normals…
We opened with Burpee Broad Jumps, because starting with pain helps set the tone.

Then the descent into madness began:
Starting at 20
20 Wide Merkins
19 Merkins
18 Hand Release Merkins
Lap (to reconsider life decisions)

Next Round
17 Wide Merkins
16 Merkins
15 Hand Release Merkins
Lap (arms officially on strike)

By now, everyone had a favorite merkin they absolutely hated.

Core Party (No RSVP Required)
14 BBS
13 LBCs
12 Leg Raises
Lap (abs filed a formal complaint)

More Core Because Mercy Is Weakness
11 BBS
10 LBCs
9 Leg Raises
Lap (counting became optional)

Leg Day Has Entered the Chat
8 Squats
7 Monkey Humpers
6 Squat Jumps
Lap (running now more of a suggestion)

From there it was a foggy march through the remaining numbers, each rep slower, louder, and more emotional than the last—until we reached 1 Burpee, which somehow felt more insulting than relieving.
COT: Prayers for families. Life changes. Crazy world….

And this is what AI thinks of each of you…could you imagine a silent Duggar?

Backdraft – Came out hot (on brand), crushed the early merkins, and continued moving even when his arms clearly sent a resignation letter around rep 15. Never stopped. Just… slowed dramatically.
Duggar – Silent assassin. No chatter, no shortcuts, just steady reps and laps. While others were debating numbers, Duggar was already halfway through the next set wondering what the hold-up was.
Fire Marshall Bill – High energy from start to finish. The soundtrack of the workout. Every rep came with commentary, every transition with sound effects. Effort level stayed high even as technique went full abstract art.