So this would not be my first time running the monthly 5k alone, but it was my first time ever running the Brickyard alone. There weren’t even any ruckers that showed up to the yard this morning. I dont think this has ever happened at the Brickyard before. What’s happening to this AO? I am going to have to have a conversation with my man Z93 to see how we can revive this once great AO. Or maybe it it was just a fluke and well have 10 guys next week like normal. Yeah it’s probably the latter.
Okay so for those running the monthly 5k, I have 2 bits of advice. Bring a head lamp and poop before you start. The first one was a check for me, the second not so much.
I haven’t had a good bowel movement in over a week. They’ve been more releaf valve poops. You know, just enough to make room and release the pressure but not a full evacuation. So going into this morning I was for the lack of better terms, running on full. Mile 1 was no problem. Nice easy pace with a slight up hill. Mile two took me on the rolling hills of Longview drive. They were both challenging and a bit eerie. This is where you need that headlamp. Dark stretches with trees lining each side. I kept waiting for Big Foot or the Rougarou to come out and get me. Oh and this is where I started to feel the knocking. As I rounded the corner on Railroad St., I was working on mile 3 while something else was working it’s way down. Telling myself to keep running and keep squeezing those cheeks, the final stretch was up hill back to the gazebo. It’s terrible by the way. I was regretting my decision to put that in the route especially in my current state at the time. One thing that kept me going was knowing that that fancy port-a-potty was waiting for me at the square. Or so I thought. That security guard is really there just to guard those darn restrooms. And no he wont let you use them, even if you tell him you have a turtle head poking out. He just doesn’t care. Knowing I couldn’t get in my car and make it to the gas station, I waddled my way to the Panera Bread just to discover they dont open until 6:30. Thankfully by the time I got there that little turtle had retreated a bit. Enough for me to think, okay I’ll walk around to see if I can find a regular Port-a-potty somewhere down here. As time went by, no port-a-potty was found and I was feeling better and better with each stride. Glancing at my watch I noticed I still had a little time before 6 so I figured I’d try to run a bit more. That idea was quickly abandoned as that turtle head started making his way for the exit again. Thankfully I returned to walking again in time, and spent the next 15 min walking around downtown Canton in search of a good place to poo. I guess I need to have a chat with Geek Squad and Lucky Charms, because I never found a spot I was comfortable with. So here I sit at home on my porcelain throne writing this backblast.
I am not sure how having you guys there would have helped me with my situation, but it would have been nice to have some company.