The BackBlast:

AO:

lions_den

Pax Names:

Garf, Satellite, Blackhawk, Drone, Vespa, Pop Up, Ice T, Old 96'r, Cricket, GM, Oliver, Dry Rub (never reads), Jack Jack, Pie Bar, Chops, Wolverine, Ben Gay, Fleetwood, Gecko, Twinkle Toes, Rembrandt, Cobalt, Hartford, Kiffin, Manning, and HB

Number of Pax:

26

FNG Names:

0

Number of FNGs:

0

Intro:

War broke out over F3 growth Tuesday night on the Lion’s Den channel. I love hiding in my Slack foxhole and throwing grenades! It was awesome. However, Dry Rub and a few other Lion’s Den bros had me against the ropes. Dry Rub was working a strong ground assault while I was on the defense trying to protect the F3 Cherokee home base. Then Carmen out of know where, flies over in a B29 Superfortress and drops a NUKE on us all. I figured I should mosey over to TLD and Q so I could inspect the carnage…..

Warm-o-Rama:

Mosey around the loop in front of Freedom, back to the top of the hill
SSH
Imperial Walkers
Merkins

The Thang:

1st Thang
Partner up
1st Partner Derkins both partners, then wheel barrel to the school. Partner Derkins again (both)
Wheel Barrel back. Rinse and repeat – 2 full rounds

2nd Thang
Mosey to the front of Liberty – 4 corners. Goal is to stay moving and give it AYG between each corner. Always go back and work with the Six and/or gazelles should lead and keep the front of the pax working. Go hard for 45 minutes boys.

1st set – knock out 10 burpees at each corner.
2nd set – 50 plank jacks at each corner.
3rd set – 50 mountain climbers at each corner.

Mosey back to the bottom of the hill in front of Freedom.
3 sprints to the top of the hill. GO!!

Mosey back to the Flag for some Mary.

COT:

Pray for Hooters and his M. Breast Cancer diagnosis. Watch for details on a meal plan being set up. We will wait until she is a few weeks into Chemo.
Pray for our children and all the kiddos throughout Cherokee country. They are facing different pressures and circumstances than what we did growing up.
Pray for Silverado's M. Cancer diagnosis.

Naked Man Moleskin:

Tuesday night I called in my bros to give me back up at TLD on Thursday. I have always been kind of a shrimpy dude so I didn't know if I would be able to hold off Dry Rub on my own. Based on the weekly Lion's Den pictures that Chops post, he looked like a serious dude that wasn't taking crap from anyone. Goat Milk showed up early for a prerun. He was not part of the back up plan. He just showed up because he got lost. Kiffin was part of the back plan but I like to save him for one final blow if needed. He only has so much left in his old decrepit body. He's not as good as he once was, but he is as good once as he ever was. The rest of my boys included Manning, Garf and Cricket. Manning is good in a fight for insults and sucker punch attacks. Also, no one is safe with him. He is equal opportunity offender. Garf is good for dirty jokes and relating with the pax. He makes you feel like you are best friends then will completely assassinate you. Cricket is just pretty to look at and very supportive. If it didn't end well for me, I thought he could at least sing and play his guitar to me on my ride to the hospital in the ambulance.

Let's back up. So the way this whole fight started is I like to lurk in all the channels and listen for talks of growth. Or in the case of Lion's Den, I have been listening to them talk of "nothing." They just like to boast the biggest average numbers each week in their moonlit post beatdown pictures. By the way, Chops I have noticed you have a weird obsession going on with beatdown pics. We need to talk about this. Do you have a darkroom full with close up pictures of Hartford's overly tight shirts and his nipples poking out? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I am getting way of track…

Anyways, I have been seeing how awesome TLD is doing with growth and how many guys are posting there each week. So Tuesday night I threw the first grenade and asked when they were going to launch another group on the pineapple side of town. I figured it would be met with great support and excitement. Especially since we all know Bridgemill folks love variety, multi group parties and meeting new people!

Instead I was met with an impressive comeback of resistance. We had multiple positions fighting in this war. I think Fleetwood is trying to lead a mixture of Jim Jones and David Koresh type cult. He likes his big numbers and I am concerned he may try to take over the entire region one AO at a time. I am not quite sure what his final goal is but I think it may include making the pax put gel in there hair pre-beatdown and required daily scripture memorization.

Then Hartford jumped in and pretended he had been promoting launching a new beatdown the whole time. After stating his support, he then just turned into the drunk girlfriend that keeps the boys mad at each other and continues to instigate a fight. I appreciate this sideline fight approach. It is a favorite move of mine too!

Next Blackhawk threw down some knowledge from his career in the US military about how platoons are usually made of 30 soldiers and there is no problem with that many folks. Look bro, I am a military wanna be. You are barking up the wrong tree. I have a major man crush on several navy seals and I have read all the books. Plus, I watched Platoon and Full Metal Jacket. I remember how Barnes killed Elias in Platoon. And who can forget Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket?? Not a happy ending for both of these bros. And we all know why. It is well documented, both platoons had more than 18 soldiers! They lost the 2nd F component and went crazy! Cmon, Blackhawk!

Hartford jumped back in for some more sideline shots. Good work!

Then Dry Rub came in with a big gun. He said he had offered to start a group but was shot down. I could feel his frustration and readiness to go to war. I was immediately impressed with his passive aggressive tone and sniper style. Oh yeah! The Lion's Den channel was on fire Tuesday night! Dry Rub's first assault was impressively strong but then I started to see a couple of kinks in the armor. Weakness number 1: His plan to launch a beatdown at the same location as the Lion's Den but on different days. Again, this goes back to the very foundation that Bridgemill built their reputation upon. These bros like variety and "swapping" things up! The same location (and for some, the same M) is BORING! Leave your master bedroom and go visit a new place. The pax loves variety! Plus if you launch a new workout a few miles down the road, new guys will show up for the party! I don't know why but they just do! Ask a lot of the Macedonia pax. They have a 3 mile rule. If the beatdown is not within 3 miles of there house, forget about it! Alcoa and The Mole just had a hell a fight over this discussion yesterday.

The second and largest gap in Dry Rub's assault was his complete unwillingness to read the F3 book on how to lead a cult (which FW is killing it right now in the area), pyramid scheme basics and how to charge people's credit cards without them knowing. Now before I go further, I want to stop and recognize Dry Rub on a few things that I am very serious about. Dry Rub's all out protest on not reading a 1 hour book was amazing. I appreciated his recommendation that the lazy slugs who started F3 and do all this for free (yeah right, they are making money somehow), should release an Audible version of the book. You are right! They need to get off there lazy SIX and make this happen! Lastly, Dry Rub's disdain for conformity. Again, I relate here. I am a rebel and fought hard against the F3 machine until Babyface and Bloodhound held me down one night and injected my warm veins with the F3 Kool Aid. Now I meet with them each Thursday in the woods around candles and goat heads to report how many men throughout Cherokee I have indoctrinated.

Possibly the final death ensuing blow from this whole ordeal was delivered by Fleetwood. Wednesday night I had prepared a speech on F3 and my reasoning for reading the book. As I was getting into the meet of my sermon, FW came out of no where and completely SHUT me down. I felt like that time my mom spanked my ass in front of everyone at church for running around the sanctuary during the preacher's message. I mean he totally shut me down. I was getting ready for Manning and Garf to boost me up on there shoulders and chant Homeboy, Homeboy, Homeboy! Instead I was in the fetal position like Private Pyle after he got beat with bars of soap in socks from the platoon. See, Blackhawk! This is what happens when 26 guys are at beatdown!

In conclusion, I don't know if I got through to Dry Rub and his book hating cronies at the Lion's Den. But who gives a rip! I still love all you boys. Fleetwood said it best, if you want to lead at F3 and have your own franchise (site Q), you need to read the book. If not, you are allowed to be a F3 brother for the rest of your life, become a complete beast, make some awesome friends and hopefully grow your faith at the same time. But like Garf said, if you are going to lead each of us need to understand the history of F3, the purpose behind what we do, the mission and the core values. Otherwise we are just a bunch of homo's running around a parking lot at 5:30 in the morning :). Not that there is anything wrong with that!

F3 is about giving it away. Not keeping it. Since we started F3 Cherokee, we have always said F3 is about the guy standing beside you and the guy who has not posted yet. It is not about ourselves. The minute we start looking inward and making decisions that is best for US, we lose. That is why we follow the model described in the book. Once a beatdown starts hitting 18+ consecutively for a couple months, it is time to divide and multiply. Every time we add workouts, the number of men posting that day increases. It is crazy to me, but it works. Every time.

I say every day that I should not be having this much fun. I have nightmares that some kind of "adult police squad" is going to show up and say "Sorry men, at this point in your life you are having way too much. We are shutting this down." But every morning I wake up, meet my bros and we do it all over again. We get stronger, we build awesome relationships, and we grow in our faith. As a believer, I think God is sitting up there thinking "I am glad I gave those boys in Charlotte this idea. Take care of the temple, live in community and seek Me, it is a pretty good plan."

Dry Rub if you have made it this far in this stupid BackBlast, know this brother. I respect ya and I love ya. You (and every other man in the COT) are what makes F3 so awesome! Keep coming brother. If Dry Rub didn't make it this far and called one of you boys to say screw F3 and tell HB he can pound sand, tell him to call me. We gotta go get that cup of coffee.