The BackBlast:

AO:

other

Pax Names:

Madoff, tool sack, almost, Ricky bobby, woody, Papa John, Turtle Head, Drumstick, Garfield, Tinder, Jungle Love, Harding, Pink Panther, Flying Tomato, Goat Milk, Wiggum, Daisy Duke, Tebow, Cuban, AC, Doubtfire, Matchstick, Speilberg, Elvis, Red Hat, Orphan, Geppetto, Panhandle, Westside, ma bell, good hands, grylls, manning

Number of Pax:

33

FNG Names:

Number of FNGs:

0

Intro:

The inaugural Paragon-vs-Cheetah Beatdown Q Competition at Sequoyah Park. It will surely be on-the-level and unbiased (just like this BB by YHC, Grylls)

Warm-o-Rama:

Manning was MC for this celebrity showdown, so the warm-o-rama was manning style – sideways and ridiculous. With 33 pax, the mumblechatter began and rattled through Mannings attempt at Warm-O-Rama. YHC cannot even recall what happened as the confusion began even before the Thang. Probably some SSH, Weedpickers, etc. The pax continued to arrive, well into the warm-up and first mosey. They were all coming for the show…

The Thang:

4 Qs – 2 each from Paragon and Cheetah: PapaJohn and AC (Cheetah) vs Panhandle and Tinder (Paragon). Each has 10min to beat down the pax. Manning will keep time and blow the whistle at the change of guard.

Paragon wins the Rock-Paper-Scissors coin-toss and elects to go second.

PapaJohn of Cheetah House calls 21s, which confuses the Paragonians because 21s are reserved only for SSH. PapaJohn's super 21s are actually 11s, but total 21, with Merkins and Burpees. Not super creative, but punishing as the mumblechatter calmed way down and the pax made it about half-way through the routine before time was up and Manning blows the whistle. This definitely got everyone's attention and YHC probably sharted at the thought of the next 10 minutes times 3.

Now on to Paragon… except NO! Although the original plan was to trade off between AOs twice, the Paragon Qs stall and convince Cheeta to take the first 2 quarters of the competition and leave the end for themselves.

AC leads the pax on a mosey through the woods without a single light source. The creativity takes a giant leap forward, but the plan seems dicey at best. Manning comes to save the day with his head-mounted Q-beam. It helps a lot because he shines it in everyone's eyes as they attempt to find footing through the woods.
– The pax are led to a giant sewer outlet in the belly of the park. Pax are directed to perform hand-stand Merkins in-cadence by putting feet up on the walls of the sewer. This is really great because half the sewer actually has active run-off pouring through. That's what gloves are for: soaking up manure before it gets too deep under the skin.
– After too many of those, pax take another jaunt through the darkness and find some rocks. We carry burdens for each other, figuratively and literally. Partner up.. One partner carries 2 rocks while the other partner serves as encouragement running through the darkness. Then hand off both rocks to the partner and switch roles. Repeat (I think) and then put the rocks away. Somewhere, Manning blows the whistle.

Paragon's Turn… Panhandle leads the mosey to the lacrosse field:
– Mountain Climber Up-Downs x20.
– Panhandle is fired up, but a bit brain-dead after exerting maximum effort… still tries to give a rousing speech about raising the dead spirits of the old basket-ball courts (YHC thinks he may have been a bit possessed and mindless at this point), but he pulls it back together and directs the pax to retrieve ma-balls (23 lb basketballs filled with sand).
– Divide into groups of 3 for the following routines:
— Plank/Merkin Assembly line: 3 pax side-by-side, perform Merkins in sync, but pass the ma-ball from hand to hand, pax to pax, on each rep.
— Burpee Ball Pass: 3 pax burpee in sync, but pass the ma-ball around the triangle with a toss when coming up from the burpee.
— Manning chooses to blind the pax with the light during ma-ball pass. Being dedicated as they are, but blinded, some pax can only catch the ma-ball with their faces.
— Ball Arm Extension – 1 pax (of the 3) holds the ma-ball out in front with arms extended while the other 2 pax perform 15 merkins. Pass the ball to the next pax and continue until the Q calls recover.
– Panhandle circles up the pax for some SSH…

There is a seamless SSH Transition to Tinder as he takes the Q. Tinder leads the pax to the baseball field for some Home Run Steeping (aka, isometric tea-bagging). OK, there was probably not any monkey-humpers involved, but there were some Home Runs and a big Sack.
– Tinder calls an exercise and a number of reps.
– First 2 pax to finish the reps call 1/2 (or done), and then proceed to home plate to pick up the Sack (boxing heavy bag).
– Those 2 pax carry the bag around the bases for the home run while the rest of the pax hold an isometric position until the 2 pax return.
Exercises included: Merkins w/ 6in hold, V-ups with hold at the top, flutters with 6in hold, Big Boi Situps with 45-degree hold, and some others.
By the end, it was a dirty, dirty sack because it dragged the ground a few times. With pax that carry the brass bearings that some of them do, it's not surprising they get dirty.
Manning (after doing nothing for the beatdown other than blind the pax and blow the whistle) blows the whistle again.

COT:

Each Q reminds us of how great F3 is, and that we are in this for each other. We need to keep reaching out to each other and building each other up. This was quite an awesome Ball Of Man.

The winner of the Q competition was clear. There was a vote later that day, but YHC does not think it matters much.

Naked Man Moleskin: