DATE: 12/22/2018

WHERE: The Hurt Locker

THE PAX: Geppetto, Westside, Hombre, Homeboy, C4, Cricket, Manning, Pelosi

Total # of PAX: 8

Number of FNGs: 0

QIC: Manning, Westside, Hombre

INTRO:

I must admit, I was a little shocked to see Mssrs. Homeboy and Westside sitting in the parking lot upon my arrival. They’re not seriously going to continue with the beatdown?? I stood next to the passenger window looking in at a half-slumped over Westside and actually kinda sorta felt bad for the big guy. HB similarly reclined back silently hoping nobody shows up…

Westside hops out of the Rav4 with weinke in hand ready to crush souls ready for b0.0mtown. Us well rested folk all just looked at him with equal amounts pity and respect. Bro, you don’t have to do this alone. We are here for you. We decide to stay together and split the beatdown 20/20/20

WARM-O-RAMA:

Since WS is still in his fatigues and boots, we agree to keep the running to a minimum. We mosey up to the coupon pile for a quick warm up and then the upper body day of destruction commenced.

THE THANG:

00:00 – 20:00 (Manning)

Pick a partner and grab a coupon. After a totally confusing explanation, we made a return trip to the pile so everyone would have a large-ish rock to play with. Complete 50 skull crushers, 50 curls, and 50 shared BBSU’s (which proved to be tougher than expected).

Deposit the coupons back on the pile and gently mosey over to the perfect arrangement of 4 benches. Stay with your partner and perform 50 plankdips or dipplanks. One in plank, the other with feet atop their partner performing 50 dips. Switch, rinse and repeat. Why are my arms shaking?  

Keep the love alive by doing 50 box jumps or 50 box jump + jump-switch derkin on the way down. These were terrible and I think I actually heard Cricket whimper during these. Ok that was me, but still. Bottom line, these were terrible and were a continued assault on our arms.

Complete The Manning with 100 SSH OYO.

20:00 – 40:00 (Westside) 

Short little mosey to Banjo’s House and circle up for a round of CircleBurps. Let me explain: Everyone starts doing SSH and the first person drops for 1 burpee. Continue until we reach 25. Then switch to high knees until we reach 50, followed by lunges in place to 75 followed by goofballs until we got to 100. That wasn’t fun, but at least we gave our arms a break…and goofballs are always fun.

…until Deconstructed Burpees…yuk…stay in the circle and go “up the river” to 10. This is a combo merkin/burpee and is absolutely barbaric. How these two are still alive is a Christmas Miracle. Oh goodie, we get to go back down the river too? Sweet! My arm just fell off. Thankfully, C4 and Hombre saved the day by distracting us with a reenactment of Chris Farley’s Spanish version of Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker. I needed that belly laugh!!

40:00 – 60:00 (Hombre)

With wobbly legs we moseyed down to the frozen tundra with our now frozen frisbees. How is it possible that it’s actually getting colder?? At least the mosey was downhill…

Line up on the goal line and throw a frisbee as far as you can. Sprint after it while in the air and when it touches down, lunge walk after it. The first person there gets to throw next. Lessons learned here: I can’t catch a frisbee, and HB still hasn’t proved himself capable of playing sports yet. Ok that was pretty fun….until someone said we still have 14 minutes left. We were all pretty toasted, and HB and WS were just muttering and wandering around like homeless people. Westside is already talking about taking a bath…and is afraid he might drown. Might need to send Titlemax for a wellness check!

Line back up on the goal line for the dreaded and completely terrible frisbee crawl. Place your feet in the frisbee and drag yourself to the 20. Perform 20 BBSU’s and then sprint back to the goal line. Bear crawl back to the 20 for 25? pickle-pounders and then drag yourself and your frozbee back to the goal line. What? huh? why? rinse and repeat.  Ugh, yuk. Our hands were soaked and frozen. I’m delirious and shared a story from Tuesday night where my son tried to convince me that his feet would be warmer if he soaked his socks before getting into bed. We argued about this for like 5 minutes. That boy ain’t right.

How in the name of all that is Holy – how is there still time on the clock. Stop calling timeouts!!!

Hombre calls for us to report back to the goal line for a quick and “Dirty 100” where we ran and dropped every 5 yards for one burpee. Pelosi tried to trick us with some mathematical equations that somehow connected to EBITDA and net income, but we weren’t buying what he was selling – even though he did look like my sister from 1987, fresh with an awesome UMASS sweatshirt and Patriots sweatpants. Flashback city.

Mosey back to the flag with STILL 3 minutes on the clock. Did we just enter a worm hole?!?! We did some supermans, reverse pickle pounders, J-lo’s, American hammers, and then we were done. Glory be to Peter as my grandmother used to say. RIP Bammie.

CIRCLE OF TRUST:

Prayers for the family of Reed Schonberger who tragically took his own life earlier this week. 

Prayers for the family of the HS student from Roswell who also took her own life yesterday. 

Talk to your children. As Cricket and HB said – give them a safe haven, a place to always be accepted and loved. Talk to them every night before bed and they will tell you what is on their minds and in their hearts. They will tell you what they are struggling with when you let them…

Praises for all those who completed the first annual Cherokee Challenge today. Truly awesome. 

Reminder to be thankful and full of praise. Thanks for that reminder C4

We’re in this together boys!

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Pelosi with some cool stories about his Greek WWII fighting pappous and how he met his yaya by writing letters while overseas. They met at Ellis Island and were married the next day. Gotta love the Greeks! 

Styes in eyes – to be discussed in greater detail later. Matthew 3:5-7

Many funny stories about the CC that will live on – in our memories only

Redwood Wednesday – coming to the Kodiak near you next quarter!

Festivus Monday at The Wicked Witch – be there!