DATE: 09/03/2018

WHERE: Wicked Witch of Cherokee

THE PAX: Homeboy, Legionnaire, Hombre, Floppy, Dandy, Manning

Total # of PAX: 6

QIC: Hombre

INTRO:

I figure since I caused enough drama about the start time, the least I could do would be to write up the BB. And there were enough shenanigans making this an easy task…

WARM-O-RAMA:

Came in hot in the M’s minivan to find the chairs set up for the post-beatdown tailgate. That was a welcome sign at 0:dark-thirty…it was going to be worth getting up early for this madness.

I made the mating call (Ca-Caw) and followed the responses to the sweaty bros climbing all over each other in the deep dark woods. Lots of chatter about how much we weigh, groin injuries, and the proper way to tie a hitch knot.

I have a size 11 trail shoe print tattooed onto my thigh from trying to hoist el Hombre up to replace a recently damaged monkey bar. That man was bound and determined to get those bars back up, mark his territory, and to demand that we memorize their exact location. Team Duke and Casey made sure to mark the spot the only way they know how..

THE THANG:

6:00am-ish bars are up, reflectors are reflecting, and off we go on phase 1 of the morning’s extravaganza. Over the rivers and through the woods…and back to the flag we go. These dogs are already after us – darting in an out of our legs every chance they get.

6:30a-7:00a Hombre transported us back to elementary school circa 1977 for a groovy pacer test. With some psychedelic lights, some hippie music, and the guy’s voice from movie-phone (why don’t you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see…) we started. Run about 20 yards and wait for the beep. Sounds simple enough. By sprint 85ish we were getting close to missing that annoying beep. And Floppy may have merlot’ed. A few more and we were done. I guess we’re finally warmed up for the actual beatdown to start (enter Legionnaire).

7:00a – 7:45a Load up on some knock-off gatorade, strip down to our skivvies, discard the headlamps, and head off into misty gloom. Dandy was a 10/10 on the mumble meter as we darted to and fro into uncharted territory along the Fulton/Cherokee line (shhh don’t tell the Alpha bros we were on their turf). Speaking of those rich kids from the south – a few good jokes at their expense like “hey, this would be a great spot for a Walmart…” and “hey, have y’all seen any rustic farmhouses on .25ac in Milton lately…?” and “I heard Range Rover is making a tractor for all those farmhouses…” We’re hilarious, I know.

Good debate up front with YHC and Dandy about prickers vs. briars and other North v South commentary that will remain unmentioned.

An random and a little bit of a bossy German woman, lots of chatty owls, and those $@##!! dogs made this portion of the morning full of excitement. A few more trips off the beaten path for some horrible pull ups (how is there not a fun F3 name for them??!?!) and a quick quiz on their locations. I think I got it but tell me again…because I wasn’t paying attention 😉

Back to the flag where we were greeted by a mom/dad/daughter trio who were apparently headed off into the gloom for some senior pics. That, or mom/daughter had enough of dad and today was the day where he met his maker. That was followed up quickly by captain story topper himself (HB) letting us know about a similar and even more gruesome story about a bloody dismemberment in the woods just north of THL. Thanks for that visual, HB.

And speaking of horrible visuals, whilst we were trying to enjoy Dandy’s delish choco milk and Hombre’s snappy coffee, El Dukie was going through some #2 issues just in our periphery. Glory hound…just like his master.

 

CIRCLE OF TRUST:

We basically skipped the COT, name o rama, and photo. Oh well, we’ll always have this clever little story to remember the day…

Manning…out

Naked-Man Moleskin: