DATE: 12/24/2018

WHERE: Wicked Witch of Cherokee

THE PAX: Quagmire, RICKY BOBBY WAS DEFINITELY THERE, Hank Hill, Law Dog, Homeboy, C4, Whamm-o, Hard Hittin Mark Whittten, HOMBRE, Ma Bell, Kiffin, Titlemax, Garfield, Manning

Total # of PAX: 14

Number of FNGs: 0

QIC: Manning

INTRO:

WARM-O-RAMA:

Would today be the day we #break60? As I pulled into The Witch, I was hopeful. There were already a few cars there and more streaming down the road. It was like watching the line of vehicles going to watch Hickory High win that state championship. Too bad our own Jimmy C wasn’t there to witness…

05:29 and pax still entering the gloom. Even one of Milton PD’s finest came down to see what all the ruckus was. When we queried Hank Hill what Officer Gloom had to say, he just muttered something about how he smelled bacon and sent him on his way. Someone’s in a mood! Maybe it’s Parvo Puppy that’s got you down. But chin up, and cheer up big fella – we gots a fun one planned today!

Mosey over to the haunted barn where that $0.21 was neatly stacked on that pallet. Why won’t anyone take that $$? And when will HB admit that he “took” that photo from the internet? Anyway, LD is already off to a fast start in the mumble category, and Hard Hittin is fumbling with his phone…what is he up to?  Anyway, let’s knock out 10 burpees and get on with it.

THE THANG:

Every Maverick needs a Goose, and HOMBRE answered that call to be my wingman today. My backseat driver, my #2. Speaking of #2 – quick shout out to The City of Milton for having some of the nicest porta potties around (In the world according to Garf, anyway). Ok, ok stay focused – we set out on what was going to be a “tour de Witch” to give all the newbies their money’s worth. Big Kev, Garf, RB who was definitely there, and Hard Hittin – all making their maiden voyage on the S.S.W.W.

Long mosey down Rut Rd. and wind our way over to C4’s hill of hate. Bear crawl 10 paces, and run 10 paces. Rinse and repeat. Let the airing of grievances begin!!! Not just yet boys…that part is coming. And yes, Garf – we’re coming back for your jacket. Sheesh you had like 14 layers on, and everyone leaves there stuff – just ask Geppetto.

NavBoy stays on point and gets us over to Pull Up Bar – Zone A lickety split. Here’s where our Festivus really began…

Challenge HB to pick his poll, and knock out as many pull ups as possible (harken back to his personal goals of doing as many pull ups as possible..in the GOOD EATS CHALLENGE…Uhhhh ok pull ups aren’t food, but thanks for letting us know, bro). Anyhoo – the rest of us common folk would do as many burpees as possible whilst HB completed something like 29 pull ups. Ok that was pretty dope. 

But wait, there’s more! Pull out my weinke and perfectly explain the 12 Days of Festivus feat of strength to be performed by all pax. 

1. Burpees
2. Merkins
3. BBSU
4. Squats
5. BUUUUUURPEEEEEES
6. Lunges (KODIAK!!!)
7. SSH
8. American Hammers
9. V-UPS
10. Tuck Jumps
11. Leg Levers
12. BURPEES

Lot’s of questions about Burpee totals at the end.  10+12+40+12+ however many during pull ups. I got 80 for the day.

A couple of notes during this portion of today’s extravaganza. LD was at level 10 annoyance. Quaggy P assumed the role of a much more vocal Dosido carefully watching the count cheats and calling them out. I think I got his wrath more than a few times. Hard Hittin somehow managed to get in some videos, and for some bizarre reason, I couldn’t remember to say Festivus while singing the song. But at least my speech disability didn’t flare up today!

OK – now everyone is pretty gassed, and I didn’t dare look at my watch – but I felt like we were probably close to time. But we’re way out, so we might as well enjoy the trek back. Nice long twisty and windy trip down the hill, where Hard Hittin was so fired up I think he could have ran straight through a tree. Man, I would have loved to have had him on my HS football team!! Everyone seemed pretty hot and bothered, so we cooled off nicely with a nice little creek run – that spit us out over by the power lines.

Line up for an uphill Zamperini Indian Run. HH was blaring the tunage, and Quags took a nice spill. Get to the top and everyone decides to sprint back to the flag. Y’all are cray cray.

CIRCLE OF TRUST:

Circle up for the AIRING OF GRIEVANCES around the ALUMINUM POLE. We took turns airing either our best or worst present given or received as we passed the pole. Quick highlights. C4 barked at someone, there were several unresolved breakups, and Garf shared his worst gift that was so frightening and disturbing that you’ll just have to ask him yourself the next time you see him warming himself by the Dumpster Fire.

I gave a nice shout out to JC and then was handed a gift. A gift that I will never forget. I think the brown paper bag had the following written on it: “To: Manning. From: Casey. I MADE this just for you!” Thanks c-dog… I’ll never look at Snickers the same way EVER again!!

Lots of shenenigans at Mc’s after and some even better pics of forgotten clothing, stuck rich kids jeeps, and dinosaur bones. 

Prayers for Thrasher and for everyone and their families during Christmas. 

LOVE YOU BOYS!!!

Naked-Man Moleskin: