Some experiences are hard to share with written words. You know what I mean?? You really had to be there to experience it yourself. This morning is no exception but I will try my hardest to share the whole truth and nothing but the truth….. By the way, Tinder said the theme for our beatdown was WARM because it was absolutely freezing to him at 48 degrees. He had exercises planned for each letter in the word WARM but nothing was executed according to his plan. He actually just talked a lot. Like a whole lot. So I will give an accurate summary of what really happened.
Poor directions, pax with multiple layers of clothing, and Stacy talking to us during the COT is just small sampling of the debacle that unfolded this morning.
QIC: Tinder (well kinda)
Number of Pax: 14
Pax Names: Dr Thunder, Grey Poupon, Osteen, Tross, Orphan, Homeboy, Tallyman, Tebow, Garfield, Almost, Tinder, Woody, Grylls, and (FNG) Mary Lou
Number of FNGs: 1
FNG Names: Mary Lou
Warm-O-Rama: I have no idea. Something about a WARM routine that none of us still do not understand.
The Thang: Ask Almost, he knows.
COT: Marriages for F3 bros.
Naked Man Moleskin: Our first morning of cooler weather really spiced things up today at the Paragon. Tinder planned a WARM routine? What is that you ask? Tinder was very cold and wanted to focus on being warm. So WARM was supposed to be acronym standing for exercises. The only problem is we didn't do anything to stay warm because he talked more than anything else. He sent me a text a few minutes ago to defend his Q and said WARM actually stands for Weird Awkward Random Malice. Now that I understand his goal for this morning, I can confidently say we nailed it!
- Stacy talking to 14 men standing in a circle by a dumpster in a high school parking lot at 6:15 in the morning.
- Stacy being there, Mabell not.
- Tinder telling us to do LBC's but then demonstrating BBS's.
- 200 squats but giving instructing us to do 50
- Grown men holding each tightly in a circle while dancing like the Rockettes.
- Tebow checking out a high school chic.
- Grey Poupon having no idea who I was after I thought we were good buds for so many years.
- Lights turning on in the stadium
- The track team running one lap then leaving abruptly. Actually this wasn't random since Tebow got real creepy. I will give you this Tebow, she did look a lot older than high school age though! I am with you bro!
- Tinder and Almost being dressed for a blizzard.
- Mary Lou doing hand stand push ups. We hate you and would appreciate if you never come back. We've worked for years to be able to run 100 yards without having to stop and catch our breath.
- Almost getting busted for doing squats that even Westside would be ashamed of.
- This is where Garfy and YHC carried out Tinder's mission and finished the WARM routine. I would say Almost, Gryllsey and Tebow helped contribute to the discussion but that would be a lie and I promised to be a beacon of truth in this BB. As a matter of fact, I am not sure Almost, Gryllsey and Tebow will ever speak to Garf and I again after this morning's coffeteria.
- You did what with a Glock 9??
- Peg Leg is very patient and doesn't mind waiting. He is a good boy!
- If anyone needs a hair cut, I got a side gig. I am especially good with a razor in stressful and chaotic situations. They don't call me the Barber for nothing!
- Garf spoke to us about how being on a team always make you more competitive and you want to outdo your team mates! What's up with that?
- We all agreed how amazing it is that Jesus can save even broken sinners like us! T-claps to the Sky-Q!