The best sale is a “Going out of Business” sale. Just ask the Wolfman. He was going out of business from 1980 – 1997. He was the liquidation, everything must go, futon selling MASTER…
Number of Pax: 4
Pax Names: Homeboy, Pie Bar, Gekko, and LawDog
FNG Names: N/A
The Thang: Run
COT: Pray for Blackhawk and some decisions that needs to be made for he and his family.
Naked Man Moleskin: Well, it all started when I was trolling Slack and noticed that LC said he was going to close the swinging Pineapple 4th of July week because he would be traveling. I jumped all over it and said I would take the Q. Having no idea where Barnett Park was located, no clue of trail location and zero plan for the beatdown it was pretty much like every other time I Q a beatdown.
A few days later I started asking if any PAX actually planned to attend this little beatdown called the PineApple Express. Statistics show that 93% of small businesses close within the first 2 years of opening. So I started to think the PE was no exception. Even the 3 normal customers (Geek Squad, Odd Job and Rug Burn) were MIA on the PE invite. They were like if LC ain't cooking, we ain't showing. Screw this HB bro.
Out of boredom and pure genius, I decided to announce the PE would be closed for business. This Wolfman level move sent everyone into mass hysteria. Well, I say everyone. No one actually cared except LD and Pie Bar. Law Dog was so upset about the Pineapple going out of business, he even told Panhandle and Grylls to go screw themselves after they promised to post with him at the Asylum Wednesday morning. I mean these bros were a HC, put extra gas in the car for the long ass drive and gave there 2.0's an extra shot of Benadryl just to keep them asleep until they returned. Oh well, LD said the hell with those bros. I got a point to prove about HB keeping his word....
Pie Bar on the other hand saw my decision to close the Pineapple as a perfect opportunity to jockey for the HIM of the YEAR award. This was a perfect time to showcase his unwavering commitment to F3, make strong statements of valor like "I will be there no matter what!" and even take a shirtless selfie all alone while standing beside the shovel flag waving in the background. Well played Pie Bar, well played.
Thankfully Gekko posted with us because otherwise we would have been calling Bloodhound to find us. We had absolutely no idea where in the heck we were within 5 minutes of leaving the flag. I am not sure how Gekko knew the trails so well. Because Gekko tried his best to trip on every single root and rock he came across. His natural instinct of direction was impressive. His ability to safely step over roots and rocks, not so much.
Well, after all the grandstanding and LD's hypothetical scenarios of non - slack users, lonesome F3 travelers and FNG's making a mad rush to TPE, it ended up being Pie Bar, LD, Gekko and myself. Plus, I am fairly confident Gekko got a last minute call from Pie Bar Tuesday night that said "guess what bro I need you to show up at Barnett Park tomorrow morning!"
The PineApple is an awesome place boys. We only touched a fraction of the trails. If you move fast on the opening stretch you can make it back to Alatoona and some good hills. It has some great creek crossings that are black ops approved. Additionally, even Quagmire and Titlemax would approve of the creeks because you can tippy toe across some big rocks without getting wet.
Enjoyed it boys!