So when Drumstick invited me over for a play date, he mentioned that they like to play a lot of sports at The Chatterbox. Sports? Really? I like sports. If it’s sports you want, it’s sports you got….sport.
He also mentioned that there would be upwards of 30 guys here. Good thing I know how sales guys minds work, and figured that he would have naturally embellished this number by at least 100%.
He also warned me about Gary, the old dude who rides in circles all morning long and how we are not allowed on his track. So you’re telling me there is a guy that rides his bike on a 1/2 mile track in a crowded public park , and we’re not allowed to get in his way. Got it.
Number of Pax: 16
Pax Names: Drumstick, Manning, Garfield, Kiffin, Trill, Silverado, General Snake Eyes, Narco (FNG), Brillo (FNG), Yankee, Doddy, Buzzard Foot, Hard Hittin, Nomad, Bagger Man, Swiss
Number of FNGs: 2
FNG Names: Narco, Brillo
Warm-O-Rama: Hey, there's Gary! He's dressed in yellow and black and has a matching bike. Is this a joke? Is this a set up? Are they filming a Liberty Mutual commercial here today??
Anyhoo, short mosey to the middle of the field....and let the hi-jinx and hilarity begin. I run one way, and they run another. Classic! Groan, these guys are a riot!
The Thang: Tried to follow the rules with the disclaimer and other edicts from the mothership, but they wanted none of it. Garf was already setting up his excuses for the day intentionally loosening his shoelaces, and babbling on about some late night Chinese food. We're onto you bro.
Count off by 2's and stand there stunned when 50% of them almost immediately forgot their number. We're swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool today folks!
1's go this a way, and 2's go that a way. Kettle bell Indian run for the extended warm up. It only took my group 2/3's of the way to figure this out. This is going to be a long 60 minutes.
Ok anyone up for some Frolf? Crickets...Frisbee Golf? More crickets...It's like they didn't even realize that there is a Disc Golf course in their midst. Quick meditative moment to gather myself prior to giving instructions...
Find a partner of similar size and head over to hole #1. Tee off by partner carrying your bro to the hole. Drop for 1 bropee. Continue this pattern on holes 1-6 adding one burpee each time. It took Team Drumstick 8 holes to figure this out.
Switch over to Brokins for holes 7-12 but stop at the turn for a couple Arnold Palmers and a quick game of tennis.
Enter the cage and line up. I said line up!! Why is everyone just wandering all over the courts?? What is with these guys??? Ok, no more mercy. We already have one injury with Buzzard Foot doing a face plant after crumbling under the weight of Hard Hittin.
Get on the long doubles line and we're going to go down and back 100x. Stopping at 25 (merkins) 50 (LBC's) 75 (Mt. Climbers) 100 (SSH). Slight modify for time to shorten the distances, but all in all these bros crushed this portion of the day.
I think it was Yankee who complimented me on having the beatdown perfectly timed to finish right at 45 minutes. I was like, uhhh Saturday's go for 60 minutes bruh. Then we slowly walked away from each other.
Pick back up on hole 10 and complete the brokins, and then Broback Mt. Climbers for holes 13-18. Finish with 90 seconds to spare and wrap it all up one long round of American Hammers
COT: Prayers for the boy who is at the Shepherd Center recovering from a bicycle accident (praises that he is doing well)
For current job searches (pending layoffs, and internal transitions)
For our marriages. To stand up to the attacks and to lock arms with one another. Your F3 brothers are here for you if you are struggling with ANYTHING. Strength comes from vulnerability and willingness to ask for help.
Naked Man Moleskin: Top 10
10. Drumstick dons the weighted vest. Kiffo snaps: You know, Hombre probably would have worn a t-shirt over that so nobody would know that he had it on. Ouch. Zing.
9. Gary was not impressed that we were on his track for even a few minutes. But his calves are huge so that's pretty cool. And he rides a Motobecane bike.
8. Yes my kettle bell is big. Deal with it.
7. Auburn guys stick together. Like really together. They even broke off for their own coffeteria. It was like the cool kids table at middle school lunch.
6. Hard Hittin sans beard. He mentioned that he woke up in the middle of the night and shaved it off. I kinda believe him.
5. It is said that the only people who play FROLF are the unemployed and youth pastors. I believe it!
4. Super dope to see Big Kevin back out in the gloom. He may have modified it a bit, but he looked pretty awesome to me getting back after it!
3. Garfield's stall tactics know no limits.
2. That 100 year old with the back of softballs hitting fungos to...nobody??? What in the what. What is the average age of people who come to this park
1. Doddy reporting that he was heckled and harassed at the pre-ruck for some sort of water test fail, lack of long pants fail, and for not knowing all of the chants. His words, not mine.