“Honey, will you let the dogs out please? They need to go potty”




Dates: 2019-09-03

Where: flying_v

QIC: Doddy

Number of Pax: 13

Pax Names: Swiss, Flair, Gutcheck, Gambler, Ralphie, Mouth to Mouth, Godaddy, Narco, Geeksquad, Showtime, Beater, Doddy

Number of FNGs: 1

FNG Names: Splinter

Warm-O-Rama: Man, I felt bad for ol Beater this morning. All the slim-good-body wanted to do was get in some miles before work. Instead, he found himself on his knees, jacking it up and himself in a mess. Exchanging flat tires are not fun.

The Thang: It was a calm, peaceful morning as we started our route down main street. The PAX was happily exchanging weekend and labor day stories and we began to work off some of the cold snacks, bbq and other dietary transgressions from the extended weekend- down main street, past the chat tech building. What better way to do that than to turn right at the round about and head up the hill into the Woodstock Knoll neighborhood? The first mile was at a 9:20 pace. The second mile, which includes that dad blame hill, was at 8:33 pace, per Narco. That is just unacceptable for Doddy - way too fast. The good news was that the hill, and thus the hard work, was over, it was time to slow things down...or was it? A few of the slim good bodies ran the nipple, aka the johnston farm lane extension. The rest of us continued down the hill on cruise control. We'd meet back up with them soon enough. Things were good.

Meanwhile, in a peaceful home somewhere along Spotted Ridge Circle, also in Woodstock Knoll, a husband and wife were waking up for their week day routine. The dogs were restless, the alarms were going off, and the wife started elbowing the husband. He hadn't yet made coffee, drawn her bath, emptied the dishes, taken out the trash or let the dogs out to potty. He was behind the 8-ball and it was still early. He got up, dressed as he was. May God have mercy on him...poor guy just wanted to be efficient so why not let the dogs out and then get the coffee going? Besides, the neighbors are asleep and the dogs...they do this all the time. Dude didn't need to put on shorts to let the dogs out....it's fine. He's got this. His logic for killing two birds with one stone was sound. His error was the sleeping attire. How many reasons does one need to wear boxer briefs instead of boxers? I get that boxers are light, and thin and easy to relieve oneself in the middle of the night - with the simple open fly and all. But they ride up your thighs with jeans, I'm told zippers and open flys are problematic on the bell head, and they are skidmark prone with the stitching. Just don't do it. Anyway, the dogs were outside doing their thing and the coffee was just getting started. Things were good.

Things were good....for both groups....at the same time....at the same place. You see, about this time is when the PAX rounded corner number 1 of said Spotted Ridge Circle.

Sidebar: I'm more Calvinistic than I should be, so I do believe in predestination to the nth degree...I'm not suggesting that you believe in predestination to the degree that I do, but....this was authored, orchestrated and designed...a long time ago. This moment. That ain't opinion.

Chihuahua, who we shall call tinkerbell, weighing in at 2.4 lbs and an 'ol pound dog' who was probably 40 lbs, pectoral muscles of a pit bull, swinging tail of a poodle, a bark of a jack russell terrier, and the personality of a sissified Maltese...but we didn't know that at the time. They charged and charged hard. It was 2 against 13, but they had us on the run. It was 42.2 lbs versus 2000+ lbs collectively, but they had us on the run. I mean, they broke through the electric fence for crying out loud. The. Pace. Was. Fast. Again. We kept running. Had to. They kept chasing. We rounded corner 2, then 3, then 4 and they were still there....at least a quarter mile....damn near sprint.

The husband, whose F3 name is now "free fly", hearing the dogs sound off the alarms, had a decision to make. Catch the dogs, or drink the coffee? Near naked. Swinging. Open fly. Sun is now coming up. It was a quarter mile. Neighbors. It's intense, y'all. The pax is angry. The man is angry. The dogs accomplished their goal of ridding the neighborhood of the bad guys. Meanwhile, the wife is clueless and starts to wonder where in the sam hell is her coffee? "Billy!"

Thanks to Gambler for helping the guy round up his dogs and still making it back to the COT on time. There is a hero in every crowd.

Normally, miles 4 & 5..you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My mood is improved, thankful that am almost done. Not today. My heart, lungs and legs had had enough.

COT: Prayers for Aiden (sp?), Godaddy's sister (surgery coming up), missing kid named cole was found after 5 days - family prayers there, and Micah (getting ready for wrestling season)

Naked Man Moleskin: Still don't really know what this section is about, but....guys....boxer briefs. The fabric technology of today - they are just as light, keep everything locked in, no riding....good stuff.

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