DATE: 10/13/2018

WHERE: The Hurt Locker

THE PAX: Rest Stop, Fleetwood, Geppetto, Homeboy, Papa John, Dizzy, Chops, Lawdog, Harp, Kiffin, Yogi, Legionnaire, Manning

Total # of PAX: 13

Number of FNGs: 0

QIC: Manning


With promises of 2-3 FNG’s, + the first-time use of the pain poles, YHC was pretty fired up for today’s beatdown. Adding to the excitement was the brilliant conversion over to Slack despite the resistance, the infiltration by cookies of the chocolate chip variety, and the warring pax of Homeboy and Misty. I mean, what could possibly go wrong!?!


While the B0.0MTownies headed one way, The THLers headed the other and picked up their poles along the way. Circle up on the turf field for some SSH | Hillbillies | Cotton Pickers | Swingers. There are times I wonder what a newbie pax thinks of Lawdog’s incessant yapping during warmups. Today was one of those days. I mean, if eye rolling were a team sport, we’d be in first place. But I digress…


[exit Legionnaire for some lonely The Mole’s}

Grab your poles and report to the goal line. Commence “Zamparini’s” to the 50, drop the pole and sprint to the goal line and back to the pole for 50 curls. Zamparini to the far goal line, sprint down and back, and perform 50 skull crushers and 50 OH presses. Zamparini back…rinse and repeat.

Circle up on the 50 for a new game: CHAOS. Pick a partner directly across, do 5 BBSU with your pole, and then sprint across the circle trying not to get steamrolled by Harp. He was definitely flagged for targeting a few times.

Yapdog barked out something about a shake weight so Audible #1 was performed. Each pax shake their poles x10 or x20 if you’re HB and can’t follow directions, or can’t pay attention. Run a lap around the circle with your pole and plank on the 6

Since CHAOS was so fun, why don’t we try it again – but this time with LBC’s.  Ok, enough of that.

Bad-idea Audible #2 – “Escape” Grab your partner’s pole and together try to evade getting your pole knocked out of your hands. I attempted to demonstrate the ease in which we could knock out the pole. This was one of those Rocky II moments – you know, the one when Rocky slammed his gloves onto the top of Clubber Lang’s and almost shattered his hands. Yep, that happened trying to knock it out of Team Harp/Yogi. Gulp. Anyhoo, we figured it out and it was totally and wicked awesome.

At this point, Kiffin clearly was onto the fact that I had basically run through my entire planned portion of the extravaganza. What he didn’t know is that I have an unlimited amount of back up ideas just waiting to unveil and wow the crowd.

Believe it or not it’s only 7:28a. D’oh

Ok time to get serious and blow some minds. Insert Audible #3 – Indian Run around the entire park. That’ll show ’em. We got about 57 yards before the whining began about leaving a 6 behind. But in true F3 fashion, we circled back and picked up our brother.

HB led a totally weird pistol drill and Post #1, then we indian ran to Post #2 for dips until burnout (I could have gone all day HB but didn’t want to show you up like I did at Frogtown) and 100, er…50  SSH in cadence. Almost had a riot at this point by the angry mob, so I had no choice but to make them SPRINT to Post #3. That’ll  hush their mouths for a bit. Karaoke like Fred Estaire to Post #4  for a totally cool new invention – “Regattas” – a modified version of American Hammers but with your pole as a paddle. Nantan boy liked it so there…

About this time, Yogi basically gave me that look. You know  the one that says “Hey bro, this has been a total train wreck…cut your losses and head back to the flag.” Thanks, bro.

With 6 minutes to spare I figured we might as well pull off Audible #4 and blast out a nasty full-field suicide 25/50/75/100. At this point, I honestly think Fleetwood was looking for the 75 yard line lol.

3 minutes of MARY, and mercifully, we’re done.

[re-enter Legionnaire]



Dizzy was #6 today and after he shared that his neck tat meant “pleasure” I don’t think anyone heard anything else.

Continued prayers for Cricket, for Fleetwood’s neighbor who died suddenly yesterday, and for all of the folks impacted by Hurricane Michael. Thanks to Floppy and Sgt. Slaughter for heading that way to help.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

Big shout out to the awesome “Tech Guru” team for implementing Slack so seamlessly. We joked today that Carmen SanDiego probably can do this in his sleep – but to us commoners, it was like, pretty cool.

F3 Cherokee is filled with a bunch of studs…willing to push the limits of Rogue Nation. Crumple something up or make something better. Implementing Slack was one of those “moments” that we will not soon forget.

T-Claps, and Aye! to Homeboy for calling out BF and BH for their rogue effort to allow Fia to infiltrate our ranks. Good call there bro.

Someone please go help The Mole finish that Spartan course. Bad things happen when he get’s mad. Bad things…

Kiffin will be wearing the cone of shame for that empty promise of 2-3 FNG’s. SHAME SHAME SHAME!!!

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