DATE: 06/25/2018

WHERE: The Kodiak

THE PAX: Swisher, Spaceballs, The Mole, Wham-O, Lawdog, C4, Mickey, Hombre, Cuban, Misty, Quagmire, Cricket, Yogi

Total # of PAX: 13

QIC: Yogi


YHC showed up and did a lap for recon @ around 500.  Approximately 515 the pax started showing up and the word was spread that El Hombre was becoming an hombre viejo and turning the big five zero.  I opened up the table for ideas and the consensus from the group was the silent treatment during the beat-down.  Yes Manning,  I know that’s weak, yet those who start a private group on twitter to notify of ones birthday in an effort to stir the pot and then aren’t present at the beat-down, shall remain silent.

5 minutes later a white Subaru drifted into the parking lot of the Kodiak.  Hombre gets out, walks up to Mickey and appears to do a full dental check up on him asking him about his molars or some sort of dental procedure that must have come up during their bike beat down.   That plan went over about as well as a pregnant girl pole vaulting.

@ 5:25 Natty Lite pulls up in full pressed slacks, polo shirt, penny loafers and gets out of his car and exchanges a man hug from one old man to another and wishes man a happy birthday. After some world cup soccer talk we had to break up, Natty Lite gets in his car and pulls off into the Gloom.

I don’t know what the hell is going on, but if this continues it’s going to be a great beat down (yes, I just tooted my own horn)….



– Elevator Squats (A.K.A. Copperhead Squats)

– Weed Pickers

– Sungods OYO


Route 55  Mosey to the light post for a Route 55.  1 Merkin each light post, jog to next light post, increase merkin count by 1 at each light post.  Last light post flutter kicks until six is in.

Baile como El Hombre  – Mosey to the bus lane and pick a pole @ the overhang for some birthday boy Pole Dancing.  Each Pax on a pole, 30 bicep curls on each arm while straddling pole.  Finish it off with 30 crunchy frogs.  Rinse and Repeat for 3 sets.   12 of  the Pax did total curls each arm @ 90, total crunchy frogs @ 90.  I can’t speak for our general counsel’s total count as he appeared to be a little more giddy than usual and found it difficult to catch up on all the latest news, count to 30 all while gripping a pole and working out.

Indian Run –  Pax in the front was instructed to use the most efficient (or not) route to get us to the middle school drop off lanes.  Swisher threw in a few hard left and right turns to keep us on our toes and Cuban quickly jumped in to put a stop to the childs play.

Bojangles Blueberry Biscuit –  Line up as a group at entrance to middle school drop off loop.  Sprint approximately 100 meters on straight away.  Mosey around turn to next straight away, perform 20 gorilla humpers as a group, single count on the Q’s call.  Line up as a group, Sprint 100 meters and then mosey around turn back to starting point.  Perform 10 burpees OYO.  Rinse and Repeat for 4 rounds.  Totals = 800 meters of sprint, 40 burpees, 80 gorilla humpers.

Mosey back to the Flag.


Hombre was brought to the middle to tell his 50 years of life in 5 minutes or less….

Born in Colombia, lived in Mexico where he met his beautiful red headed wife (she’s a gringo from NY), works for a bottling company (non alcoholic sadly), loving father of one son, loving husband to his wife, was first introduced to F3 by C4 ( he likes red heads) and first posted at Kodiak where he didn’t merlot as an FNG.

A great leader within our F3 community and Cherokee County that we are fortunate to have in our group.   He’s also an expert Gorilla Humper and I believe my first partner row experience was with Hombre so we have that special bond.

Naked-Man Moleskin:

F3 Dads camp, July 4th Convergence @ Sequoyah Park, Chick-Fil-A 5K coming up in August .

New Quarterly Q’s.

Lawdog noted that apparently I got some good video of crotch shots of the PAX during Name-O-Rama.  We’ll keep it PG-13 and let everyone take his word.

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